So what is this week trying to teach me? What lessons do I need to learn or re-learn? My therapist keeps reminding me that the people in our lives and the events of our lives are sent by the universe to help us learn the lessons we need to learn and do the work we are here in this life to do. I remembered that last night as I lay in bed contemplating the turn of events with Chauncey's surgery.
Of course, I thought I had everything planned out well. We got Chauncey to Summit Veterinary Center plenty early and checked that there were no emergencies, and that Chauncey should have no problem having surgery which then meant that I would be able to arrange for his return home, in all likelihood, today, a day with no other commitments, and have him comfortable before having to go through surgery again tomorrow with Sasha. But the best laid plans and all that, and after I left Chauncey, three emergencies came in.
Now I have no problem with the emergencies being treated first. That is only right and proper. Chauncey keeps moving in and out of emergency situations, but so far, he has managed to get through each episode of being unable to move and get back to moving reasonably well. There has been damage to his back legs, but surgery should prevent further damage before he becomes paralyzed or incontinent or both. So Chauncey certainly was able to wait for his surgery. And I know that the families of the three emergencies were grateful for Summit's care and concern. I just wish the universe had waited for those emergencies until another day, but that wasn't to be.
And so here I am again, on Tuesday early afternoon, still waiting to find out if or when Chauncey will have surgery. Meanwhile, I don't know what to do about my commitments for tomorrow as I don't know if Chauncey will coming home tomorrow or Thursday or when. I think this lesson is trying to teach me a number of things.
First, I need to be more flexible and go with the flow. I need to be open to changes in plans and shifting of energies. I didn't do that particularly well yesterday, as I did my usual knee-jerk reaction of tears and frustration, missing Chauncey and wishing I could spare him the added time away. Of course, if I lived closer or had easier transport, I could have brought him back home and then taken him back today, but in reality, I'm not sure that would have made things any easier for either Chauncey or me. And so he is in a kennel in a holding pattern and the rest of us are here at home wondering.
Next, I need to learn or practice patience. I don't have all the data, all the information I need, and I can't get that information at the moment so I need to take lots of deep breathes and stay focused in the present moment, and just wait for the unfolding of events. My lengthy remodel has done wonders towards teaching me patience, but I have in reality never been a particularly patient person so obviously the universe finds that I still need work on developing more patience. With that comes trust as well, that those at Summit are taking good care of Chauncey and looking after him and that they are doing what is best for all concerned.
I also need to deal with my control issues. I can't be in control of everything. I have enough trouble being in control of me. So I can't control whether or not emergencies happen. I just have to adjust to the changes. And I can't control the schedule. I can only do the best I can to rework my schedule so I'll be ready for whatever happens. I've gotten a substitute for my bridge class tomorrow so that those folks won't get canceled at the last minute. I'm looking at ferry schedules so that I know what my options are, and since Chauncey can't be picked up until afternoon at the earliest tomorrow and since Summit is open 24/7, I'm looking at getting Sasha home first, mid-afternoon, and then going for Chauncey. That will allow me to tutor my student and keep my therapy appointment as well as being here for Sasha, before going for Chauncey. The drawback is that it will make a very long and late day for me, but if I can arrange the transport (and I've already proposed this to Leigh), it should work. Now, with that plan in the back of my mind, I am ready to shift depending on when Chauncey has his surgery and when he is allowed to come home.
The last part of this lesson, at least as far as I've figured it out at the moment as I'm sure there are many more lessons here, is that life also unfolds according to the choices which I have made and continue to make. No one forced me to move to an island. I made that choice and overall, it has been an excellent decision. But that choice has ramifications. The island doesn't offer everything, especially medical care for humans and animals. So there will be times I have to go off island. And it was my choice not to replace my aged car and in fact not to keep up my own driving skills to the point where I could get myself on and off island safely and comfortably. So that adds another level of complexity to the situation, a complexity brought about by my choices, my reclusive nature, my fears even. I lose a measure of control in situations like this because I need to rely on others to help me with transport. Again, this is the result of choices which I have made. And of course, the most obvious here, I have decided to have furry companions, and as a result I have responsibility for their well-being. I am very fortunate to be able to afford medical care for them, as otherwise, both Chauncey and Sasha would have to be mercifully let go, but that means that I have to deal with the consequences of these decisions. Chauncey's surgery simply cannot be done on island. Thankfully, Sasha's can! So I have to make choices and do my best for them, even if that means an extra day or two in Tacoma for Chauncey, as well as two surgeries in the same week.
And on top of everything else, I need to remember that there is a blessing and a trap in everything. Poosa has gotten to meet both the UPS driver and the FedEx driver because Chauncey isn't here to eat them alive. And the house is quieter, since Chauncey is the major barker. So my constant nasty headache is happier with the quieter atmosphere. Of course, I'd rather have all the noise and confusion and have Chauncey as well, but since he can't be here at the moment, I need to focus on the positives involved.
I am not thrilled with the way this week is unfolding, but I can see that I do have lessons to learn and growth to try to accomplish. I need to watch out for my knee-jerk reactions. I need to realize that the universe will throw curve balls and emergencies will happen, so thinking I'm in control of everything is really bogus. And I need to try to go with the flow without so much fear and panic. I have to continue with the plan, adjusting as needed, understanding that each choice has ramifications either now or in the future.
The universe will continue to provide me with the opportunity to learn what I need to learn. The faster I can pick up on those opportunities and actually learn the lessons, the sooner I can move on to new lessons. Such is the nature of life, I guess.