I was reading my blogs this morning when I came across a post which really spoke to me. It may be found on Balance In Me. I was especially struck by how it applies to my new efforts to heal myself by taking on my own cooking. The author was writing about feeling stuck and I don't know that I am feeling that, but I have been wondering what to do as my next step in my healing process, so I guess that is a kind of stuck. Anyway, the author suggests 5 steps, and I've done them all today (and no doubt will have to do them again and again as that's what it takes to heal).
I've already written about my big step in deciding to learn to cook and to cook for myself rather than having someone do that for me. That was an absolutely huge step for me which I took over the weekend. So in this blog post I read, the author says the first step is to convince yourself that it is possible to make the first step. I am now working hard at convincing myself that I can do this. A friend just told me that the very act of taking time out of my day to make myself nourishing food is an extremely powerful way to look after myself, something which I definitely need to do.
The next step according to Anastasiya, who wrote the post "Feeling Stuck? Get Yourself Free in 5 Steps," is to be prepared. For example, in learning a new skill (as I'm doing), be prepared with support. I have talked with friends, e-mailed friends, and visited with friends who have all said they would help me, and you wouldn't believe the number of "really easy" recipes which have come my way already today. I'm getting lots of excellent advice and encouragement and I'm also working on being prepared with the right tools.
Step three is to do something which I'm reluctant to do and I've sure hit that one running. I've been extremely reluctant to do any real cooking (as opposed to my many years of cooking from box mixes, TV dinners, etc). My reluctance is understandable given how much criticism my cooking has brought down upon me over the years, but still, I need to get past that.
Step four requires me to do something which I am afraid of. Well, the entire concept of cooking terrifies me in the first place, so I sure am meeting that requirement. More than that, I had to go to the market today to purchase some basics so that I'd have ingredients to cook with and it has been nearly 1 1/2 years since I've marketed. That was a very frightening experience, but I did survive and I now have some veggies, some tofu, some grains, some spices, and we shall see where that takes me.
And finally, step 5 requires the changing of routines, which I've also certainly done. I now have to plan ahead, think about what I want to fix, make time to fix it, etc. Tonight I still have food from my friend who cooked for me, but not a full dinner's worth, so I'll need to supplement it with some steamed veggies (although after all I've done today I may settle for steaming a package of edamame). By tomorrow I will be on my own, but that is when Amazon.com will be delivering (actually it is UPS and FedEx) my kitchen stuff, including a 2 burner electric cooktop to use until my gas cooktop can be installed. So my tools will arrive tomorrow and I can then begin the adventure in earnest. And since tomorrow I will be at appointments, yoga lessons, and Study Zone from 12-5PM, it had better be something simple that I attempt for my first dinner.
Anyway, I am now definitely overwhelmed and more than a little frightened, but still rather excited and I think this journey will be good on a number of levels.