Friday, December 10, 2010

Sasha and Walls

Last night Sasha slept with me at the head of my bed and that is a very unusual occurrence.  My other two cats, Laoise and Thackeray, always sleep with me for the bulk of the night, usually between my legs or wrapped around my legs, but Sasha avoids my bedroom because the other two like it.  But last night was different.  At first I was concerned that maybe she wasn't feeling well (she has aggressive oral cancer, so that is a major worry) and wanted to be near me for comfort.  Or maybe she felt I needed comforting, which was also true.  In any case it was lovely to have all three cats there.  


Then, when I woke up in the morning, it dawned on me that maybe Sasha wasn't feeling necessarily worse (she also hadn't eaten a lot yesterday, so more cause for worry), but that with fewer walls and more open space she simply feels safer coming into my bedroom.  She can actually see my bed from her usual perch on the kitchen counter.  The room no longer has another room to go through before getting to my bedroom.  I'm now thinking that the lack of walls makes things so much more accessible for her (and for me, of course).  Walls are barriers and while we do need them and it is most healthy to have good boundaries, they also can be seen as dividers, keeping us from each other.  Sasha now feels more comfortable coming into my bedroom because she can see the open expanse of the Great Room and she knows that she can't get trapped.  Thackeray especially can be a pain and a pest, but she could easily get away from him to her safe spot.  


So I have no idea why Sasha slept with me last night, but she is eating better today and I'm hoping that it was the remodel open space that brought her into my room, and that she will continue to show up by my head at night as I treasure each and every moment we can spend together.  I treasure the time spent with my other pets as well, and it is true that all our days are numbered in that we all will one day stop "being" and move on to "non-being," but with Sasha I know those days are really numbered.

3 comments:

  1. I think you may be on to something, maybe your new "wide open spaces" make Sasha feel less confined and more comfortable being with you in your bedroom (or maybe is "sleeping area" a more accurate term for it now?) :-) Whatever her reason, it's nice that she wanted to join you for a snuggle! Hope she decides to do that every night... an added remodeling bonus!

    It's funny, I had a friend who was born and raised in NYC and only left it twice for very brief trips. NYC didn't exactly make me feel claustrophobic, but it did feel very confining to have all those tall buildings around me all the time... walking down some Manhattan streets made me feel like I was walking through a deep, narrow canyon of concrete and glass. I was only there three days and had a blast, but no way would I want to live there, with the noise, crowds and that confining feeling. But my friend said she could never even come visit me because she just looking at photos of where I live (on a clear day we see for miles, well into Montana) made her feel exposed, vulnerable and panicky. She felt more secure with all those tall buildings around her! I suppose it's what we're used to. My mom, who grew up on the Montana prairie, always felt hemmed in by Maine's trees, but our neighbors there thought her photos of Montana looked stark and bleak with all those wide open spaces.

    I'm guessing Sasha might like Wyoming or Montana better than NYC or the Maine woods, and "Don't Fence Me In" should be her theme song. :-)

    I'm glad she sounds like she's still feeling good. Give her kisses for me!

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  2. Whatever the reason Sasha came to you, I hope it was the 'no walls' reason. It's so hard when we know a loved one's days are really numbered. I hope Sasha keeps feeling good and you two can share a lot more cozy nights.

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  3. Laloofah: I so understand about the landscape. When I lived in the midwest I had problems handling all the flat. I'd been raised in California and I need to see mountains and water. However, I think I would find NYC claustrophobic also. I lived in Seattle proper and that was ok, but now I really prefer the rural landscape. And yes, my bedroom is still a bedroom--the second room in my soon to be two room home. I'm not sure what Sasha would prefer, but I know my cats, who don't ever go outside, seem to have agrophobia, and when occasionally they find themselves outside, they shake like leaves, gluing themselves to the side of the house, meowing loudly for me to come pick them up and take them back inside! It is really quite hysterical.

    Rose: Sasha slept with me again last night and we now have "agreed" to have two pillows on the bed, one for her and one for me! She's eating a bit more today also which always makes me happy, and she is helping me weave.

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