I know I need to figure out a way to find my own "tribe," but I haven't exactly figured out how to do that either. My therapist says that one thing I could do is envision what something would look like and try that out to see if it is really what I want. For instance, if I had a partner, what would she look like, and what would my life be like. When I did that exercise, I soon figured out that maybe it wouldn't be so good--I've lived alone for a very long time and I am an individualist and I am very used to doing things my way and I'm currently having my home redone to suit me, a vision that I suspect few others would find suitable. So that helped, but all humans apparently need social interaction, and I don't have a "proper" family so I have to find my own network, my own tribe.
How do I do that? I've started blogging which has gotten me one follower (a lovely lady in Wyoming) and 2 others who have made comments, but I'm not sure if blogging is the way to go as far as finding a tribe. I've avoided joining Facebook since I find it offensive that one can't read Facebook entries without becoming a member, but maybe I could find kindred spirits there. I've also discovered I've been thinking about what to post on my blog based on my perceptions of what my readers might like. So far I've only written what I felt inspired to write, what was written from the heart, and that's what I need to continue to do, realizing that those who have commented so far are moved to comment because they connect in some way with what I've written. But as someone who follows a ton of blogs in Google Reader, and someone who is frequently moved by a number of posts, but who rarely leaves any comments at all, I realize that blogging may not be the most effective way to make connections. I suspect I'm far from being alone in reading blogs but not making comments. So how do I find my tribe?
I am an introvert and in all honesty a bit of a recluse. My energy is maintained by being on my own, in my own space. I am very much a homebody. But if I never go out, I won't ever meet anyone to discover if they are part of my tribe. On the other hand, I remember that my father had many very rich friendships which were conducted entirely or nearly entirely by correspondence. That idea really appeals to me, and so I'm thinking that what I need is kindred spirits who like making blog comments, who like e-mail correspondence. Also, since I don't like leaving my home and certainly don't want to leave my island, the Internet allows me to spread a wider net--I have the chance to meet more people and hence I will be more likely to find kindred spirits. I think this is a good plan for now, and what I need to remember is that it takes time to find kindred spirits, and that if my purpose in writing a blog is to find my tribe, I need to continue to write about what is important to me and stay true to myself.