I was reading Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes last night and I've reached Chapter 5: Hunting: When the Heart is a Lonely Hunter. This chapter has the story of Skeleton Woman and in it Estes discusses the Life/Death/Life Nature of Love. What does this have to do with my remodel, the intelligent reader would now be asking. Well, Estes states that "it is good to make a meditative and daily practice of untangling the Life/Death/Life nature over and over again." She continues by suggesting that we should ask questions such as, "What must I give more death to today, in order to generate more life? What do I know should die, but am hesitant to allow to do so? . . . What should die today? What should live? What life am I afraid to give birth to? If not now, when?"
I have been pondering these questions and I think they relate a lot to the fact that life is always changing and that death is just a part of life, without which there would be no more life. And so I thought about what I'd done yesterday, emptying out the middle of my house where the remodel is happening, and that process is involving lots of decisions about what really needs to "die" or go away to make room for my new life and the way I wish to move forward. Right now things are very jumbled and my congested living room is even more congested, but the process of giving birth to the new home, so to speak, with the vision I have for it requires first, the courage to take the step to have the center of my home demolished (a step which I don't think I would have been able to take if I didn't have a contractor of the highest capabilities and in whom I have utter confidence!). Then once that decision has been made, there are myriad more decisions about what to keep and what to let go of as I empty that part of the house.
Some decisions were relatively easy--I have way too much cat furniture left from an era when I had many more cats (at one point 15!). And some of the pieces are old and worn. Other choices are less obvious, but I'm using the criteria that if the item hasn't been used in the last year (one full seasonal cycle), then I don't really need it. But as Estes says, some things must die or go away at least out of my life in order to make room for the birth of a new idea, a new plan, a new path. And so today I will continue with my untangling of the Skeleton Woman as I do my part in this remodel.